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December 8, 2009

Life`s Full Of Ups and Downs...

... but what`s funny is when I think that I`m up is when I feel the most down. I`m a fucked up individual like that I guess lol. It`s a weird thing to try and explain. It`s an even weirder thing to try and come to terms with. But what don`t kill you, makes you stronger. Like you haven`t heard that sayin` before. Tsk tsk Nah. Be original already. Anyway what`s up to whoever reads the bullshit I be writin` on here. I doubt anybody does lol. I more do this for myself. Helps me vent. Makes me feel better at the end of the day. And to prove it. I haven`t wrote anythin` on here in a looooong ass time. And I am now. Already feelin` better than I was lol. I need some help. Seriously, I think I do lol. Nah, I`m lyin`. I`m perfectly fine. Sexy even. But I`m tryna reach that "beautiful" level. Bein` sexy or fine is good and all. But it`s not too fulfilling. I need somethin` more. But at the same time I feel like I have everythin` I need. For the time bein`. Not that I`m tryna complain or anythin`. I just come off that way a lot. Can`t help it, sue me. I`m so dyin` to get away from this place again. My bad moods/depression have only gotten worse since I last talked about not wantin` to be here anymore lol. I really think I am an emo ass muh fucka. At least a semi emo ass muh fucka lol. I know how to hid my feelin`s pretty good so it prolly doesn`t show on a day to day basis. Couple of things have been botherin` the past few weeks. Around the time that my pops died so that`s been on my mind. The little one been workin` a lot so ain`t been able to see her much. Bills and not havin` money been a killer lately. And everythin` happenin` in sync with each other just makes for a shitty mood/depressed me. But it ain`t like I ain`t been here before. I`ll be aight. But aight you jerks. I`m outta here. I`ll hopefully be tunin` in more often. Dunno why I stopped updatin` this thing. Until next time you beautiful people...

1 comment:

  1. Well, I read it. But you probably expected that from me, huh? I'm even more fucked up than you *think* you are and I guess I'm really introverted and I like to write shit, so it would only make sense that I'd be intrigued by similar shit, right? So, I guess it doesn't count that *I* read it.. LOL. maybe if I was a cool rapper... maybe someday... just not today. haha.

    I know what you're trying to describe in the beginning and I'm a lot like that.. I've thought about it for A LONG ass time and the only conclusion that I ever come to is that I grew up so beyond fuct up that I never really relax.. so evern when everything is good and I should just be chill - Im not. I guess Im my own worst enemy.. haha. So, don't worry theres nothing wrong with you.. <3

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