I`ve decided there`s quite a few things I can do to better myself on the path of anythin` but failure lol. Shit I`ll even be happy with semi success compared to where I`m at right now. So I`m gonna see if I can put these in a list and explain a little about what I mean with each of them. Here we go... Bare with me...
1. "Me" comes first.
This is prolly gonna be my hardest task lol. And I don`t mean this in a dick head way either. But I`m a nigga with a big heart. I tend to put other people before myself A LOT. Usually too often. And I think it`s one of the biggest things I need to change. What I mean by this is makin` sure that I`m happy first and other people second. NOT sayin` that makin` me happy is all I care about. But I`m not gonna go out on a limb to make other people happy if it has the opposite effect on me. Which shouldn`t be hard because I keep a close knit group of people I keep myself around. And most of them are good friends and what not. So it should be easy to make sure I keep myself on an equal playin` ground as I keep them on when it comes to this.
2. "Fuck what you think."
Yea that`s right! I`m gettin` hardcore with this shit! Lol nosa. But word. I don`t need to get nobody`s "ok". And even though I`ve told myself that I`ve been that way. There`s been times when I still wanted/or thought I needed someone else`s approval. I`m over that now. This usually brings me back to number one where I end up tryin` to make other people happy and not makin` sure I`m ok with the situation as well. So they kinda both go hand in hand.
3. "If I don`t get it done, wtf am I even tryin` for?"
What I mean by this is that if I start out sayin` I`m gonna do somethin`, I need to follow through and make sure I finish it. Too often I just give up on shit or change my mind. Which also leads to me thinkin` things out more, so I needa make sure what I say I`m gonna do is somethin` I actually need to do and plan on finishin`. No more startin` stuff and just losin` interest or not makin` sure I see an end result. That hasn`t got me anywhere.
4. Be HAPPY
This is gonna be a hard one. Though I might hide it in person pretty good. I get depressed quite a damn bit. Usually it`s a hard thing to get through because somethin` new will add on to whatever was originally botherin` before I get through it. So it`s sorta like a downhill spiral of the same shit over and over. And I`m the type of person to keep my problems to myself for the most part unless I put it into my music. So I know that doesn`t help. But what I`m aimin` for with this is to try to stay away from things that might get me into the same usual shit where I get in my depressed stages.
5. Make Improvements
Pretty much. By the end of the year. I want to be in a better position than where I`m at now. Physically. Emotionally. Financially. Musically. Etc. I not sayin` by leaps and bounds. But I want to be able to see a difference. And HOPEFULLY a change for the better and not the worst. This is gonna take a lot of effort. But I`m ready for it. I`m tired of bein` in a hole. And I`m not gonna depend on nobody else to try and help dig me out. First step of gettin` where you wanna be is goin` for wherever that is full force. Only person that can hold yourself back is you. And I`m a firm believer of that. So I plan to make some changes and do what I need to do to see that this happens.
Ok ok ok. Not that big of a list. But I narrowed it down to things that I think will have the biggest impact on myself and help me become a better person as a whole. Some of you might not agree with this. But it`s what I think is best for me. Might not be 100% correct with all this. But we as people learn through mistakes. Trial and error is the best teacher. And with that said. It`s time to put these in motion.
No comments:
Post a Comment