Still realizin`...

Ain`t been able to keep up with this as often as I`d like to lately. Been busy tryin` to get shit off the ground with my music. That might also be the reason why I haven`t felt the need to share anythin` on here lately lol. Been keepin` my mind busy with other things and not givin` things that bother me the time of day. I`m pretty sure I`ve been aggravated about some things over the past couple weeks. But I honestly don`t remember reasons enough to "vent" like I usually do lol. But on another note. A couple days ago. I seen this quote in my little sister`s away message. "As if you could kill time without injuring eternity". And that made me look at what I`m doin` with my life now and want to push even harder with what I need to do to get what I want over time. What kick started the whole thing was somethin` one of my dude`s said to me almost a month ago now. I said somethin` along the lines of "sometimes I lose my inspiration, maybe I needa change what I keep around me". And he came back and said somethin` like "nah, just change your inspiration". And I really thought about that and put it to use. I`m really startin` to notice how I let things get me down and in the mood to just give up when in reality they have nothin` to do with me takin` care of what I need to do. And I would blame me gettin` lazy on everythin` that would bother me as a scape goat. So now that I look at it like "quit makin` excuses for yourself" and have been puttin` 100% in what I need to be doin`, it seems like the things that would aggravate the shit out of me just roll off and fade away. I don`t need that type of negative energy around me. So I`m done with puttin` myself in a position to let certain things interfere with me and my goals. And it`s kinda changin` my attitude toward certain people. I`m driftin` further and further away from the Nahlidge that would wait for people to maybe realize that they`ll be missin` out on somethin` if they leave, hopin` that they`ll come to their senses one day. And more toward the Nahlidge that looks at it like, either be down to ride with me or get left in the back roads somewhere. Since I`ve been noticin` that I`ve been lookin` at situations more like that I`ve been startin` to realize that the people who want to stay around are gonna be the ones who ride for you. The people who aren`t meant to stay around are gonna fade off. So no need to waste time hopin` that the thing you let go will come back some day.

In Search Of...

Hmmm. So I had a convo with a friend today about this "findin` the right person" theme. Well somethin` along the lines of that. She was tellin` me about how things aren`t workin` out with someone that she`s been seein` and what not. I don`t mind listenin`. I`m pretty good at givin` advice and I like to let someone know my opinion whenever I can. Well to skip to the point of why I`m talkin` about this. She made a comment about "maybe the right person is right in front of us". Maybe not in those exact words. But that was the jist of it. I didn`t comment on it to her. But I took it as a low blow because she`s someone that I`ve let know that I liked her and how I felt numerous times. But what got me is that idk if she meant that or was it just a joke because she felt like bein` a punk lol. I`m pretty sure she`s made it clear to me that she doesn`t want to take our relationship past more than just a friend level. Believe me, I`ve been tryin` lol. And there`s only so much rejection I can put up with so I backed off. Not much else I can do in the situation. I`m certain that I`ve made how I felt about her clear. I let her know that the opportunity is there if she changed her mind. But still she made it known that she rather not take things there. So to come back and say a comment about the right person bein` right in front of us kinda confused me. And idk what to think. Maybe I`m thinkin` too much about it just wonderin` these things. But hey, that`s the type of person I am. Idk. Enough of me blabbin`. Bye.